Smashcake!

I get the privilege of attending one of my very favorite little girl's 1st birthday party today.  I was looking forward to see her eat and attack her birthday cake, when not too long ago pictures of her floated across my social media and she was doing it...with the caption of 'smashcake'.  I saw her dad a few weeks ago and he explained she had already had this experience for her 1st birthday photos.  The word 'smashcake' was recurring in our conversation.  Then, last week, I was at school and another mom mentioned how she was at a little ones party and talked about how the little one did with his 'smashcake'.  What?  What' happened...it's not just cake anymore?

I have 3 close family members who are having babies this spring.  My youngest is 12 so it has been a while since I was caring for a baby.  Watching them go through the challenges and joys of pregnancy and caring for infants, makes me grateful I was younger when I had my 3.  ;)  However, it also had me take pause and reflect on the advice I received, and the notions that I believed to be right (whether they were or not), and how those around me reacted to it.

I remember a conversation that I had almost 20 years ago with a family member.  I chose not to breastfeed my children.  I simply did not want to.  I didn't have any other reason for my choice.  This family member was so upset with me, and told me how much damage I was doing to my child.  I often wonder if she's aware that he's ok, and doing well in college now.  He survived formula. My point is, every new mom, experienced mom, and super mom is entitled to her own belief, value system, and choices.  We have to be a system of support for one another that is anchored in respect.  It's often kind of interesting to learn from one another.  Pregnant women are now cautioned from so many things, that I'm sure I wasn't clued into just 12 years ago.  Talking with them and asking questions, rather than passing judgment can be a wonderful conversation.

And yes, I'm sure you did 'that', and survived.  But try not to make any new mom feel bad for not doing what you did.  She's got enough on her plate...I'm sure that is something all moms have in common.  ;)

I've attached a funny video from Jimmy Fallon...enjoy!

Keep It Simple...and enjoy your cake! ♥D

It's a New Year...Allow for Do-Overs and Letting Go

Happy New Year!  If you are following my book updates...there's a new one on that page today!

I can't believe we are beginning 2015!  I was thinking about how we often get caught up in hurt and worry over life's issues that are out of our control, or are simple mistakes.  When my children complain about other people in their life that have caused conflict, I tell them that those are the people in most need of our prayers, or positive thoughts.  So often we cannot understand the motivation of others, or even ourselves, when we act in an unkind way.  Have you considered that awesome concept by children of a 'do-over'?  This then needs to be followed with 'letting go'.  We can do it, nothing is stopping us (except for pride, or any other human emotion that applies).  Here's an example:

I had a stress-filled day not too long ago.  It was full of that Christmas time stress...shopping, parking in a full lot, couldn't find the gift I was searching for, etc...  Later that day, I found myself delivering that stress to my children as we prepped for dinner.  The kids were unsure, and began to 'walk on eggshells' around me as we got the house cleaned and dinner ready.  After a pause, I realized that my stress is not their problem.  I told the girls that I simply needed a 'do-over'.  I explained that my day was difficult, and it was not their fault.

This then, needs to be accepted, and letting go has to start immediately.  Sometimes the idea of letting go of anger or irritability takes longer.  As adults, we can model it for the kids, so that they learn from it.  It's ok to have difficult exchanges with loved ones, but it is critically important to share with them a fresh start...immediately.  If you hold grudges and carry lingering anger, your children will learn to do this as well.

Do-Over and Letting Go can be useful in many, if not all situations.  From little problems, to those quite large...ask for a do-over, and then let it go.

It's a new year, start fresh.  Enjoy something everyday.  Model kindness for your family.  Enjoy this video of 2 sweet girls...letting go.

Keep It Simple...and do anything you need to, over.  ♥D