Sunday, March 29, 2015

K-Cups...I Blame You for Our Loss of Filters

We need them back.  Filters, that is.  Language filters.  There's an increase in what we, as adults, choose to say in front of our children.  We need to remember that they are children.  Their brains are developing, and they cannot process emotions and feelings at a mature rate.  They do not understand that we sometimes have to behave one way, even though we may have contradictory feelings at the time.  They do not understand the importance of time and its healing powers.  Children haven't lived long enough to understand any of this.  Today, I plead with readers...put your filter back on when having conversations with or around your children.  Stop yourself.  I'll give you some examples...

Regarding Teachers/Coaches/Volunteer Leaders - You will, if you have not yet, have an issue with one or more of your child's teachers/coaches.  While it used to be the norm to speak with your child, and then the teacher/school, prior to having an emotional reaction...I find that more and more parents have an that reaction in front of their children without speaking to the teacher first. It's often not in favor of the teacher. Please do not make disparaging comments/assumptions out loud in front of your child. If you have middle school aged children, you know about the challenging moments that come while raising them. It's natural for their age.  Can you imagine being a teacher, trying to educate your child, who has a lack of respect for him/her for more than just those moments?  Sometimes they carry this disrespect throughout the course.  This can be due to something that occurred in parent conversations, overheard by your children (and yes, I recognize it can also be due to the teacher, I know we do not always have the most respectful educators).  Filtered conversations regarding school and it's teachers can make a significant and positive impact on your child's school year. This also applies to coaches and volunteer leaders for groups your child may be affiliated with.

Regarding Family Life - Even more important, and possibly more challenging is preventing eruptions and emotional confrontations between parents in front of the children.  I've included a YouTube video below (it's short!) regarding the impact on children.  We are here to protect our children.  Allowing them in to the issues of marital breakdown is harmful.  No parent would throw their child into a burning not throw them into the middle of broken marriage.  Save your discussions for private.  Get a babysitter.  Send them to grandmas.  Whatever it takes.  I have admired many parents who can do this.  It can be done with peace and grace.  The kids come out alright, and with two loving parents sharing time with them.

Regarding Language In General - If you don't want them to say it, don't say it in front of them.  I think that one is self explanatory.  Children learn what they live.

Filtering may come naturally, or it may be a complete challenge.  Take the challenge.  It will be worth it.  We will see an increase in overall respect.  You are modeling relationships. Again, it will be worth it.

Keep it simple...and filtered!  ♥D

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