Dear Siri & Alexa & Cortana & Google Now,
I have a request. Stop answering the questions and start asking them. Please. When our kids ask, "Siri, what is 10 x 8?" I think it would be amazing if you said, "what do you think it is?" or "how can you figure that out?" We have teachers who spend 7 hours a day working with children on concepts in a classroom-concepts that require the brain to engage-and children are having some difficulties engaging. I can see, and understand, the thoughts of the child as they realize that when they go home a virtual assistant will probably spit the answer right out for them within a matter of seconds. But what if that assistant actually required them to think? That's an almost absurd idea. It shouldn't be.
We need thinkers and inventors and creators. "Alexa, why was the Civil Rights Movement so necessary and important?" Imagine if Alexa responded with " Here's some information (at your reading level), read it and I bet you will know why it was so important for our nation. You think about it."
Let's start while they are young. Parents - let your children have a voice and choice. Let them think. We need thinkers. Engaged brains in activities and in the community. I've attached an article about college graduates and thinking. It's short, just like this post. Read it, and think about it!
~Dena
https://www.jamesgmartin.center/2017/03/college-graduates-still-cant-think/
Pancakes For Parents
Blarticle Posts...BLOG + ARTICLES by Dena Albergo Jayson visit my website at www.denaalbergojayson.com
Sunday, October 15, 2017
Monday, July 24, 2017
My Mom Didn't Just Feed Me Sometimes
My Mom Didn't Just Feed Me Sometimes...
This photo has come across my social media screens multiple times over the past few days. I initially thought it was funny, and of course, reflective of not only 2017 but the past decade of child raising. It's way too much! I think back to my first pregnancy and I tried so hard to have a 'perfect' pregnancy. I gave up caffeine - and soda is my addiction. I completely stopped the pop. I ended up on complete bed rest at 24 weeks, and my son was born at 33 weeks and had to remain in the hospital for about 7 more weeks. I remember thinking that I probably didn't need Dr. Ob-Gyn, what my son needed was Dr. Pepper. Babies 2 and 3 enjoyed a few sips of Dr. Pepper along their in utero journey. As the years went on, I watched pregnant women cease to eat a growing number of foods, and all I could think of was - thank goodness my babies are out. This eating ban would stress me out.
So I read this post from a college orientation and I think, no - nope - my mother did not just feed me. As I did not just feed my children. Here's just a small list of things that I believe she did, and taught me to do with my own children, and they are by no means easy:
- She told me no, when I really, really, really needed just one thing. Just one. Because I didn't really, really, really need it. She knew that.
- She made me earn my own money for ridiculously expensive items. For example, every year she would buy me the required school clothes, but when I had to have the sweet Jordache Jeans with the yellow stitching of the horse on my back pocket, I had to earn the money to pay for those. She seemed to feel that the Wranglers from Kmart were probably good enough. Actually, I think that was my dad who believed that.
- Speaking of him, she made me tell him when I made a small slip in judgment with my behavior. She didn't cover for me and this was probably one of the worst consequences in all of the land. I'm sure they had a great laugh after I left the room. Or at least patted themselves on the back for a job well done.
- She worked. My dad worked. We ate fast food. It often was Burger Chef. Do you remember that chain? I ate dinner every night (we didn't check the GMO's and all that is mentioned now). My cholesterol is just fine and I'm 40 something. However, she taught me to go to work everyday and earn the money you need to provide for your family. I can't really cook, but I can read a recipe book and use it if I want to.
- Speaking of food...I didn't like to eat breakfast but she made me eat something. Many times I'd eat a lunch food item. I hated breakfast. I remember getting sick at school one morning and they asked what I had for breakfast. I had to tell them vegetable soup. I'm sure she didn't feel great picking me up that day with those who judge for not making me eat cereal, but this was how she got me to eat in the morning.
- There were rules, consequences, and follow-through. I think this is hard.
- Finally, school - as an educator I have a hunch there were many times my mother was upset with the school or a teacher. Guess what? I didn't really know about it (well, I did one time). She didn't jump to my defense instantly, especially in front of me. No conversations with or about any teachers happened in front of me. If I was upset, she listened, but didn't assume naturally that I was always right. She just took care of things with grace and respect (or advised me about how I needed to handle it) and thankfully did not publicly post on social media about my teachers.
I said 'finally' above. There's no finally. She's still my mom and now a grandma too. It's never done, and it's never as simple as feeding us sometimes. I know the author in the picture absolutely meant that tongue in cheek, and with sarcasm. However, as long as there's no outright neglect and abuse, let everyone parent as they choose and as their lifestyle and economic situation allows them parent. Don't judge. I drank soda, and bottle fed my kids (I know, I said bottle fed, take a moment). They are alive and well today (see below). And I think they are fantastic!
I know it's been a while...thanks for sticking around!
~Dena
Sunday, January 8, 2017
What Our Schools Need Now, Is Love, Sweet Love
No more 'live' violence, please. |
I was overwhelmed with videos
-horrifying videos- of children of all ages and stages doing very cruel and
unkind acts to one another live. I
dislike this new live trend on social media. What followed were unfeeling and
apathetic comments from strangers. The content of the video(s) should have made
anyone, if not everyone, simply want to jump in to rescue the ‘victim’. The
comments were coming from people of all races and ages. Did I mention that
these videos coming across my social media sites were unsolicited? I did not
search for them. I did not have to click on them to view them. They were there,
running for me to view. Many times sponsored by the news media. This is not news.
You don’t have to be in education to be worried. As a human being, I am
worried. Where do we stand in the academic world with this new media? Let’s
take a look.
I have consulted with many groups, both
locally and nationally with regard to social emotional learning practices for
young children
who have endured trauma. Research continues to support a
positive correlation between SEL program integration and academic progress (CASEL, 2015). All
fifty states have SEL curriculum programs in place at the preschool level. However, preschoolers are not the ones
producing or posting these harmful videos, thankfully. We can say with
confidence that talking about social skills, and emotional learning at an early
age produces results. The neuroscience of a preschooler demonstrates that 3-5
year olds are emotionally impressionable in part due to the brain’s grey matter
which is quite fluid and dynamic, and rapidly developing. Dare I say, this is
possibly a more difficult time for our children than the teenage years? It’s
also one of the most important stages with regard to creating a kind and
sensitive human being.
K-2 – It’s Not Too Late!
Effective SEL curriculum programs
include lessons in all five areas: self-awareness, self-management, responsible
decision-making, social awareness, and relationship skills. It’s in the areas
of social awareness that we must make greater efforts and strides with the
work.
There is a plethora of research available by
K.H. Lagattuta regarding the developing brain of 2-7 year olds and
understanding emotion. In that rather current research (as recent as 2012), she
concluded that by age 7, most children have an understanding of empathy for
others. By this age of learning, we should have a well-established curriculum
that is as intense and thorough as reading and mathematics.
A Hope-Filled Future
Millennials, the term used for our
current group of parents raising our next generation of children have unique
value systems as a whole, according to a recent study (www.themillennialimpact.com )
conducted by Achieve Guidance and The Case Foundation. Though often criticized
for being a generation centered on self and with wavering interests, research
has determined these young adults are generous and less materialistic than
their predecessors. They will give little, but will give what they have to
benefit others. Various studies have shown that, in general, the majority of
millennial parents would prefer the following for their children:
- A choice in education (online, charter, public, private, parochial, etc.) that is affordable – if not free.
- Diverse and engaging learning experiences.
- An updated view from all of ‘family’ (eliminate the former model of nuclear family).
- Less emphasis on standardization and more emphasis and a child’s unique learning capabilities and individuality.
We can see the true educational cycle
of educating the whole child will return. This includes the social, emotional
child. If a giving nature and accepting spirit is alive in the home, and the
educational process can regularly bring forth tolerance lessons that include
empathy and sensitivity, I see a future free from harm, bullying, and
peer-to-peer related trauma.
Just Do It
Basic human kindness and sensitivity needs to
return to our classrooms, lived daily, and modeled always – most importantly by
the media. It is not ok to post vulgar attacks on one another live. Why does the
news media repeatedly promote these videos? Information is necessary, sharing
the violence post trauma is not. Tell us about the video, and we will then find
ways to teach, act, and model better behavior. We have the ability to change
this. We have to change this. We must make education a safe, sensitive learning
space free from fear and any trauma to our students.
Sunday, October 18, 2015
PTS - Parent/Teacher/Student or Post-Traumatic Stress???
I find as a school administrator that there's increasing stress with regard to the relationship among the 3 communities directly involved in a child's education. In general, our goal is to educate children within the boundaries of a school day academically, socially, physically, emotionally, and I'd add technologically. Many schools are also charged with spiritual development. It is an incredible task to complete. It's also one that can be accomplished with a cooperative working relationship among the parent(s), teacher, and student. There are set standards, common practices, and all must work together to design and achieve developmentally appropriate goals. Let's take a look at how those standards, practices, goals, and communication among them may (or may not) work within your setting:
I create this table just to begin to set up a discussion of the increased stress among parents, teachers, and students. This was once a primarily cooperative, working relationship (I believe many, many years ago). Research shows that it works much better when the relationship is cooperative. How do we get back to where we used to be? All areas need improvement - the standards (and how we get them), goal setting, methodology, and teaching. However, next week, I'll talk about the communication piece. That said, we DO have some wonderful things happening in education! Share them with us! I'm going to share one with you below...
|
Student
|
Parent
|
Teacher
|
Standards
– the content of the educational program
|
Does not have
input to the standards, but should aware of them. It is what they are
learning each day, every year.
|
Should be aware of
them. Can have input at various levels by being actively involved in school
boards and by voting for local representatives.
|
Is absolutely
aware of them as the curriculum is designed around these. Should be teaching the standards and
setting annual goals based on them.
|
Goals/Objectives-these
are more specific to each student/grade level
|
In general, these
are the same for each class, but may vary per student based on unique
capabilities. A student can be
somewhat aware of them but will consider his/her main goal to be to ‘get to
the next grade’.
|
Will also have a
similar goal in mind as the student but should also have more specific goals
for his/her student based on the student’s individual needs that also align
with the standards.
|
Will have the
standards in mind and will fit the student’s needs in and align
goals/objectives into this framework preparing the student for the next grade
throughout the year.
|
Methods
of Instruction – these are the ways the teacher will deliver the lessons
throughout the school year. Often these are determined by a teacher's strengths/desires and district resources.
|
Depending on the
age, the student may or may not know what method of instruction works best
for any subject. Is it rote memorization,
kinesthetic or auditory learning? Are
all things visual/graphic best received and understood?
|
Parents, as well,
may or may not know what works for their child. Often they assume what worked for them
should work for their child. This is
why there is so much push back on the Common Core. C.C. is like a foreign language for many parents.
However, it does work for some students.
|
Teachers have the
task to get to know and understand an entire classroom of students and balance
all lessons and methods of instruction for all students. The optimal
classroom will have engaging lessons that balance visual, kinesthetic, and
auditory learning experiences-that meet the standards presented in the curriculum.
|
Communication
– this is what SHOULD happen
|
Every child must
feel safe communicating to his/her teacher about school and home. Every child must feel safe communicating to
his/her parent about school. All
communication must be respectful.
|
Every parent must
support the school and teacher in front of the child, even when it’s
difficult. Ask questions. Make notes.
Refrain from verbally ‘attacking’ anyone in the presence of your child. Do not speak poorly of other children,
parents, or school staff. Request a meeting. All communication must be
respectful.
|
Teachers must keep
parents informed. Technology allows for easy frequent communication. Students must feel safe in the
classroom. They need to be able to ask
questions free from humiliation and embarrassment. All communication must be
respectful.
|
I create this table just to begin to set up a discussion of the increased stress among parents, teachers, and students. This was once a primarily cooperative, working relationship (I believe many, many years ago). Research shows that it works much better when the relationship is cooperative. How do we get back to where we used to be? All areas need improvement - the standards (and how we get them), goal setting, methodology, and teaching. However, next week, I'll talk about the communication piece. That said, we DO have some wonderful things happening in education! Share them with us! I'm going to share one with you below...
Until next week, keep it simple...and respectful. ♥D
Sunday, July 12, 2015
Check: Children Are Children, Not Pawns
This week, a Detroit area judge released from detention three children who refused to have a court ordered lunch with their father who was in town from another country. The children are ages 14, 10, and 9. Their parents have been in a 5+ year family court battle for custody and visitation, and have had well over 400 court filings. Mom says dad was abusive, dad says she is brainwashing the kids. Both parents are highly successful in their professional life. Both parents, in my opinion, are failing at an alarming rate, as parents.
I am not in that home, and never have been so I cannot judge the validity of the abuse or brainwashing statements. However, I can say that when the court has to resort to detaining the children for several weeks for violating a court order (not having the lunch with dad), the 'village' that is raising the children has failed. The parents have failed. Any extended family and friends have failed. The school system has failed. The attorneys have failed. The judge and court system has failed. All of these players in the chess game of divorce could have made moves to benefit the kids, but did not. Kids are not pawns.
Below is a link to a counseling and mediation center's page for the 10 Commandments for Parents experiencing divorce. Many of them may be a challenge, but they can help to insure that your children come out of a divorce unscathed.
10 Commandments For Divorcing Parents
The mother was interviewed by local media and stated, "I told the courts that love brings love". If the children are detained again because of parental lack of concession with the court orders, I'd like to offer a final move in the chess game:
Check Mate: we find the children another loving home without turmoil and game play from any parents.
We have to protect our children from everything we can. For the media's version of the events, see the video below.
Keep it simple...very simple. ♥D
I am not in that home, and never have been so I cannot judge the validity of the abuse or brainwashing statements. However, I can say that when the court has to resort to detaining the children for several weeks for violating a court order (not having the lunch with dad), the 'village' that is raising the children has failed. The parents have failed. Any extended family and friends have failed. The school system has failed. The attorneys have failed. The judge and court system has failed. All of these players in the chess game of divorce could have made moves to benefit the kids, but did not. Kids are not pawns.
Below is a link to a counseling and mediation center's page for the 10 Commandments for Parents experiencing divorce. Many of them may be a challenge, but they can help to insure that your children come out of a divorce unscathed.
10 Commandments For Divorcing Parents
The mother was interviewed by local media and stated, "I told the courts that love brings love". If the children are detained again because of parental lack of concession with the court orders, I'd like to offer a final move in the chess game:
Check Mate: we find the children another loving home without turmoil and game play from any parents.
We have to protect our children from everything we can. For the media's version of the events, see the video below.
Keep it simple...very simple. ♥D
Sunday, June 7, 2015
The Gap - The Reason Parents May Be Talking About LGBTQ Way More Than Ever
We all know that parenting does not come with a handbook. Growing up, I was exposed to about 6 network television channels, the remote control was introduced at some point, and I loved to watch The Brady Bunch, Happy Days, Laverne & Shirley, and Knots Landing (that was my most PG-13 rated show). I don't believe my parents had to tackle really explaining other family lifestyle choices to me...we simply don't have any family members living in situations that vary from heterosexual ones. If you are a parent who was raised in the 60's, 70's. and 80's, think back to your exposure to lifestyles that are not heterosexual families. I bet for the majority it was limited, and not much discussed at family dinners.
Flash forward to today. Imagine being a child, or a teenager who has access to 500 television channels - a few of which are dedicated to LGBTQ lifestyles. Magazines with covers that are devoted to trending topics, along with #CaitlynJenner (just to name one hashtag) surfacing everywhere lately. Look at this site below that offers a pop culture timeline, and this is just lists homosexuals in the media. You'll notice a major increase in the 2000's. Kids are very much exposed to differing lifestyles, and many readily accept them.
Whatever your feelings are on lifestyles, I'll say this again, your children are very much exposed to them, and the world is encouraging an openness and acceptance. This may be a different opinion from yours. Your child may be open and accepting. Is it okay for you to differ in your opinions? It is. Think back to a time when you were young. Did you agree with your parents on everything? Really think about it. Evolution, education, and maturity allow humans to move on with differences and love. Educate yourself on the lifestyles. Know that they are rooted in love, and not 'choice'. Watch Caitlyn Jenner's story with an open mind to try to understand what goes through a person's mind and body during his or her lifetime. Do you have to agree with it? Nope. But it may help you understand why your child is using empathetic skills in today's world. It may also help prepare you if your child approaches you and has to tell you about the lifestyle he or she is living.
I've included below an interesting round-table about today's youth and the generation gap. I think you'll enjoy it.
Keep it simple...and be ready to listen and talk to your children. ♥D
Flash forward to today. Imagine being a child, or a teenager who has access to 500 television channels - a few of which are dedicated to LGBTQ lifestyles. Magazines with covers that are devoted to trending topics, along with #CaitlynJenner (just to name one hashtag) surfacing everywhere lately. Look at this site below that offers a pop culture timeline, and this is just lists homosexuals in the media. You'll notice a major increase in the 2000's. Kids are very much exposed to differing lifestyles, and many readily accept them.
Whatever your feelings are on lifestyles, I'll say this again, your children are very much exposed to them, and the world is encouraging an openness and acceptance. This may be a different opinion from yours. Your child may be open and accepting. Is it okay for you to differ in your opinions? It is. Think back to a time when you were young. Did you agree with your parents on everything? Really think about it. Evolution, education, and maturity allow humans to move on with differences and love. Educate yourself on the lifestyles. Know that they are rooted in love, and not 'choice'. Watch Caitlyn Jenner's story with an open mind to try to understand what goes through a person's mind and body during his or her lifetime. Do you have to agree with it? Nope. But it may help you understand why your child is using empathetic skills in today's world. It may also help prepare you if your child approaches you and has to tell you about the lifestyle he or she is living.
I've included below an interesting round-table about today's youth and the generation gap. I think you'll enjoy it.
Keep it simple...and be ready to listen and talk to your children. ♥D
Sunday, May 24, 2015
The Four (& Five) Letter Words I Now Have A Love (& Hate) Relationship With
WORK. SERVE. TIME. MONEY. MORE. HELP. FREE. NEED. WANT. HARD. WORK (yes, I listed this one again). EASY. PLEASE. GIVE. GOV'T (I abbreviated that one). My list could go on. I'm sitting here on this Memorial Day holiday weekend remembering a very dear friend who lost his life in Fallujah almost 9 years ago, serving in the Marine reserves. He made the ultimate sacrifice serving his country, as many, many have so that we can live here, in the U.S. in a free democratic state. God Bless him, and all of those who have served and are serving.
Let me ramble...
I'll get wrapped up in situation with 'whomever'...complaining that WORK is too HARD. I wish it was EASY! Or maybe someone is in NEED of HELP with whatever situation he/she is dealing with. There is never enough MONEY to get what they NEED. Or maybe, just maybe if they had a little MORE of it, they would be all set. Why can it just be FREE? In addition, there is never quite enough TIME to SERVE those who, again, NEED it. PLEASE, somebody, step in and help out! I even catch myself making these statements...if only, if only...
And then, this weekend rolls around, and thank goodness for it, to remind and help me reflect on the TIME, WORK, & HELP given to me by so many before me. It wasn't EASY or FREE. Thank you for serving. Thanks to the families of our soldiers for the sacrifice you endure. I am a lucky American. I am a grateful American.
I love those words listed above. I think I kind of hate them too. We take them for granted, and use them too easily. Teach children to WORK and SERVE. Teach them the difference between WANT and NEED. Show them the true value of MONEY by having them earn their own, even if you have plenty. Finally, make sure they understand what it means to be FREE.
Happy Memorial Day!
Below is a short video tribute to my friend...
Keep it simple...and be forever grateful for freedom. ♥D
Let me ramble...
I'll get wrapped up in situation with 'whomever'...complaining that WORK is too HARD. I wish it was EASY! Or maybe someone is in NEED of HELP with whatever situation he/she is dealing with. There is never enough MONEY to get what they NEED. Or maybe, just maybe if they had a little MORE of it, they would be all set. Why can it just be FREE? In addition, there is never quite enough TIME to SERVE those who, again, NEED it. PLEASE, somebody, step in and help out! I even catch myself making these statements...if only, if only...
And then, this weekend rolls around, and thank goodness for it, to remind and help me reflect on the TIME, WORK, & HELP given to me by so many before me. It wasn't EASY or FREE. Thank you for serving. Thanks to the families of our soldiers for the sacrifice you endure. I am a lucky American. I am a grateful American.
I love those words listed above. I think I kind of hate them too. We take them for granted, and use them too easily. Teach children to WORK and SERVE. Teach them the difference between WANT and NEED. Show them the true value of MONEY by having them earn their own, even if you have plenty. Finally, make sure they understand what it means to be FREE.
Happy Memorial Day!
Below is a short video tribute to my friend...
Keep it simple...and be forever grateful for freedom. ♥D
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